Down

Getting a job is really really hard, time consuming, boring, challenging and put me in a lot of struggles.
Beberapa hari ini, I stayed at home during weekdays karna emank gw harus nyari2 kerja di internet, trus teman2 juga susah diajak keluar, or maybe gw nya yg males ngajakin keluar, or mungkin emank karna ga ada ajakan keluar makanya malas ngajakin orang keluar. yah, whatsoever...
I spent my time browsing nyari2 kerja, nge-facebook ga jelas, youtube-ing, nonton dvd, pokoknya ga jelas dech..
Terlintas di benak gw, kenapa nyari kerja itu susah sekali ??
Sempat terpikir, gw compare2 teman2 gw yg sekarang uda kerja..
Beberapa bekerja di bidang yg bukan major mereka, tapi at least kan mereka kerja.. Ada yg ga perlu susah2 nyari kerja karna ngurusin kerjaan bokap nya, trus ada yg dapet kerja karna banyak koneksi... so on and on..
Pertanyaan ga masuk akal pun muncul, Why is this so unfair ??
You know when u're stressed, ur brain kind of work in a non sense way that u don't really know how u can come up with that question..
Mulai lha ber tanya2, kenapa mereka bisa segampang itu tapi gw ga ??
Kenapa mereka ga perlu nunggu lama n gw punya mesti lama ??
Kenapa punya gw ribet, tapi mereka punya simple2 aja ??

Trus ari jumat maren, I got a phone call from GI, t4 gw lamar kerja n uda interview... I was told that I'm their second candidate... Jadi uda ada satu orang yg uda ampe stage 3, sedangkan gw masi stage satu dlm hal interview, n klo dia ga lulus test baru dech gw yg dipanggil..
I was down n quite disappointed, mungkin karna gw terlalu naive ga mikir jauh2, ga prepare juga buat menerima tolakan, terlalu percaya diri n terlalu berbangga hati dgn kualifikasi n experience kerja gw...

Untung ga terlarut larut terlalu lama dalam pikiran2 negatif itu..
Otak gw langsung mikir yg bagus2 nya buat nimpalin yg jelek2 nya...
I was told that, If it is your job then it is ur job.. U'll get it sooner or later...
Gw yg berbangga diri juga berusaha humble myself, repent that I didnt pray a lot, too cocky n depend on my own but not God, terlalu puas diri, terlalu naive, terlalu meremehkan...
Dan satu hal juga, klo ga bersusah susah dulu, ntar pas gw uda dapet, gw ga tau betapa nikmatnya apa yg uda gw dapet itu...
Trus juga, persistent, perseverence n komitmen dalam hal yg gw pengen lakukan juga harus tetap gw pegang,, jangan mau di belok2an ke arah lain kalo misalnya uda tau mimpi2 lu...
Ok, mungkin tawaran pekerjaan lain lebih menggiurkan dalam segi financial, kenyamanan, fasilitas n beban kerja, tapi is that what I want ??
In a short term, Ok it's fine... tapi klo misal melenceng dari mimpi gw, is it worth wastin time ??
gw lebih milih menghabiskan another 1-2 months looking for jobs that I want rather than getting one that that is not my major, dont really like it and waste my 2 years in a contract to work there..
Dan satu lagi, ngapain compare2 diri lu dengan orang lain ?? They are doing their part n i 'm accomplishing my own part...

Tapi seriusan, pikiran2 that brings u down itu sering sekali muncul, cause u get all the pressures from everywhere..
Apa?? uda hampir 3 bulan tapi blm dapet kerja ??
Uda lha, ada kerja apa ya trima aja, ga perlu milih2 daripada nganggur2 ??
wuahahha, katanya lulusan aussie, balik2 indo juga nganggur n susah dapet kerja
yes, there are more of these to be mentioned...

but u know what, my dream will conquer all these kroco2 problems...
My dream is bigger than the problems, and the most important one
I have God; that is bigger than problems
as long as I depend and stay close with Him

pour it out
SAnto